I dreamt about you the other night. The dream was so real and vivid I can still remember it. I remember it as if it really happened. I remember you as if you were still here.
We were in a JcPenney type store. I saw you by the dress shoes in the distance. My pace increased towards you, walking through chairs and shoes on the floor and passing my Aunts, only stopping briefly to give them a hug. My eyes were still on you. I got closer and saw you were wearing a black ¾ sleeved dress with a scalloped neckline and an A-line skirt. It was the dress I wore to your funeral. You had a side part showing your salt and pepper roots. The rest of you brown curly hair was slicked to the back in a silver sparkly clip. You were turned away and bending down, leaning on the chair next to you, looking at the shoes on your feet. I couldn’t believe it was you.
I saw my mom next to you. She was looking for something. Maybe another shoe for you to try. I asked her, “Is that Grandma? Is she really here?” Even in my dream I processed you passed away. She didn’t turn around, instead you did. You turned around and faced me. You put your hands on my shoulders and I could feel the weight. You looked me in my eyes and I looked back in disbelief. I saw your squishy cheeks, your wrinkles I loved so much, your brown skin, your light brown eyes. You answered me, “No darling, I just come visit you in your dream.” Then your brown face turned ashen gray and lost all of its color. You disappeared into the air. As your hands left my shoulders, everything started to spin. My body was unbalanced. All I could see was the store’s red carpet, people’s feet, and the brown metal legs of the chairs, the chair you were once leaning on. I fell forward into the fetal position, bawling, but no sound came out. I held my stomach screaming but no one heard.
I woke up shortly after, breathing rapidly and feeling uneasy. I cried. I was confused. What was that? You were sooo real! I just saw you and now you’re gone. Again.
This is my second dream I had about you since you passed away last month. You didn’t talk in the first dream. It was only your presence. This dream was different. You talked and it’s what you said that gets me. You told me you were visiting me in my dream. Did you really come to me or is this my mind? Did I just communicate with you? Are you communicating with me? Did you really come visit me in my dream?
Either way, I’m glad I saw you so vividly. So alive and happy. I miss you Grandma and I hope you know!
Love your granddaughter,