Tag Archives: Life

Dear Grandma,

Dear Grandma,

I dreamt about you the other night. The dream was so real and vivid I can still remember it. I remember it as if it really happened. I remember you as if you were still here.

We were in a JcPenney type store. I saw you by the dress shoes in the distance. My pace increased towards you, walking through chairs and shoes on the floor and passing my Aunts, only stopping briefly to give them a hug. My eyes were still on you. I got closer and saw you were wearing a black ¾ sleeved dress with a scalloped neckline and an A-line skirt. It was the dress I wore to your funeral. You had a side part showing your salt and pepper roots. The rest of you brown curly hair was slicked to the back in a silver sparkly clip. You were turned away and bending down, leaning on the chair next to you, looking at the shoes on your feet. I couldn’t believe it was you.

I saw my mom next to you. She was looking for something. Maybe another shoe for you to try. I asked her, “Is that Grandma? Is she really here?” Even in my dream I processed you passed away. She didn’t turn around, instead you did. You turned around and faced me. You put your hands on my shoulders and I could feel the weight. You looked me in my eyes and I looked back in disbelief. I saw your squishy cheeks, your wrinkles I loved so much, your brown skin, your light brown eyes. You answered me, “No darling, I just come visit you in your dream.” Then your brown face turned ashen gray and lost all of its color. You disappeared into the air. As your hands left my shoulders, everything started to spin. My body was unbalanced. All I could see was the store’s red carpet, people’s feet, and the brown metal legs of the chairs, the chair you were once leaning on. I fell forward into the fetal position, bawling, but no sound came out. I held my stomach screaming but no one heard.

I woke up shortly after, breathing rapidly and feeling uneasy. I cried. I was confused. What was that? You were sooo real! I just saw you and now you’re gone. Again.

This is my second dream I had about you since you passed away last month. You didn’t talk in the first dream. It was only your presence. This dream was different. You talked and it’s what you said that gets me. You told me you were visiting me in my dream. Did you really come to me or is this my mind? Did I just communicate with you? Are you communicating with me? Did you really come visit me in my dream?

Either way, I’m glad I saw you so vividly. So alive and happy. I miss you Grandma and I hope you know!

Love your granddaughter,

Kelsey

Grandma Photoshop

Words

Why is it so hard to say what you really feel? Is it the fear of believing in something you once thought was truth? Could it be the uncertainty of not knowing the response? The possibility it might not go as you planned? Why can’t you just say it? Say how you feel, what you feel.

They’re only words. But they’re not. They’re heavy. Words with a lot of meaning. Each one individually means nothing but together it’s everything.

I. Me. That’s it. It stands alone but whole. Singular. One. Love. The depths of the unknown. It hurts. It’s intangible yet we feel the unbearable pressure against our chest suffocating our minds. You. Only you. A whole by itself. The one I want. At least I think. Thought.

They’re words so hard to put together. Why? Maybe it’s too late. Maybe it’s not real. Maybe it’s fantasy. Are you my fantasy? Fantasy isn’t reality. Maybe that’s why it hurts. Maybe that’s why it’s hard.

These words.

Put them together.

What do you get?

~Kelsey Sherri

Words Poem Red Rose

Written April 22, 2017

A Season’s Cycle

My little dose of creative writing.


A Season’s Cycle


Seasons pass endlessly like there’s no time.
Life circling is continuous even when it ends.
Sun comes up and goes down, around a dime.
Wake up, work, school, children and friends.

Life circling is continuous even when it ends.
Trees’ leaves change colors green to brown.
Wake up, work, school, children and friends.
You’d think it’s over when the leaf hits the ground.

Trees’ leaves change colors green to brown.
It starts over naked like a newborn.
You’d think it’s over when the leaf hits the ground.
Just like a new life, the tree is reborn.

It starts over naked like a newborn.
A new beginning is before us.
Just like a new life, the tree is reborn.
The continuous cycle of life is all around us.

A new beginning is before us.
Sun comes up and goes down, around a dime.
The continuous cycle of life all around us.
Seasons pass endlessly like there’s no time.

~Kelsey Sherri

.

New Seasons!

It’s been a long time since I’ve written a post. Too long. Embarrassingly long! The sad part is, everyday I wake up thinking about writing and I don’t. I must admit, I’ve been in a funk. 2016 hit me hard but I’m starting to realize that I’m the one making it worse by dwelling on things. It gets hard when you’re stuck. You tend to lose motivation and sight. But I refuse to let 2016 stop me. It’s been a tough year but it’s not too late to turn it around. We still have three more months.

With that being said…remember the 52 week challenge I wanted to participate in? Yea, the  one I completely failed at doing? Well wishful thinking right? Lol! Well like I said, we still have October, November, and December of 2016! So let’s do it! I’ll pick up where I left off and maybe do some of my favorites that I’ve missed along the way.

New Season

Cheers to a new season! Cheers to new beginnings!

~Kelsey Sherri

Life After College

As I binge watch Sex and the City for the first time, I can’t help but think about my own life. I know! Why am I comparing my life to a fictional TV show about mid 30 somethings with established lives in the city? I’m not really but it does get me thinking.

I’ve noticed a lot of my favorite shows are centered around New York City: How I Met Your Mother, The Wayans Brothers, Lipstick Jungle, even back to The Nanny, The Jefferson’s, and The Cosby show and the movies: The Devil Wears Prada, 13 Going on 30, Hitch, Trainwreck, and The Intern. These are just what I could think of off the top of my head, but honestly, the list goes on!

They all have one thing in common. New York!

Before 25

New York is clearly the place to be. But is it as exciting as it is on TV? Or am I putting New York on a pedestal?

I got the chance to visit New York back in 2008. I got to see the ball drop, at least I think I did. I’m not sure. That night was such a blur of excitement and awe, crowded with people and below zero temps. I’m not sure if I was watching the ball drop or an icicle falling. Regardless, I was 16 in the city I’ve always dreamed of going to.

Now I’m 23, fresh out of college, unemployed and living at my parents house. Not exactly what I had in mind after college. I figured I would still be at home but I had no idea I would be working a temp position, which…eventually ended.

There’s one of two things that will happen after college. You will A: get a job right away, or B: get stuck job hunting, vigorously and actively. Unfortunately I fell into category B. They don’t tell you about that category. They (colleges) give you the impression that a job with a great salary, benefits, and a friendly working environment will be waiting for you the second you walk across the stage. Maybe that’s what I’m doing with New York? Maybe I’m glorifying this city that may not even be as great as I imagined.

In my before 25 post I said I wanted to own a condo before 25 and either live in New York or have a fruitful vacation there. I can’t see myself owning a condo in New York at this moment only because I don’t think NYC would be where I spend the rest of my life. It would be more of a pit stop along the way, you know, just in case I am glorifying the land. So I would most likely invest in a condo in Los Angeles somewhere. Maybe I could rent it out while I experience my big apple adventures. Hmm how does that work? Googling renting out your condo now!

I can’t get ahead of myself though. I don’t even have a job! Haha! I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. The reason for me being jobless right now? I don’t know. Maybe it’s for me to spend time developing my blog or developing my sketching. Maybe it’s to give me time to make a good plan/revise my current one. Maybe it’s just giving me a little time to declutter my closet. In due time. I will have that job with the great salary, benefits, and the friendly working environment they told me about in college. Cheers to an unexpected life!

~Kelsey Sherri

Naming The Blog

Please take a second to vote for your favorite name below! I’ll be making a decision tomorrow! Thank you all! I really appreciate your help!

~Kelsey Sherri

5 Things That Scare Me

Driving Up Hills

I’m so scared of driving up hills. I have a ‘98 Toyota Camry and I probably need new tires, but every time I drive up a hill, my tires scream at me like I’m crazy. Sometimes Charlie my car just sits there screaming at me for climbing up a hill. This only happens if I stop on a steep hill and I have to keep climbing. Now when I’m driving straight up without having to stop, I can feel the strain. I just hope that we make it up the hill. Yes, I probably need to flush my engine and get an oil change, but let’s be real. Even with that, my car is old and I’d probably still be scared. I’d say it’s in pretty good shape, but remember 1998 was 18 years ago. That’s 40 in car years lol. I’m scared Charlie will get mad at me and roll back down. But so far, he just screams at me.

Losing Someone Close To Me

My family has been very fortunate to not have lost too many people. And because of that, I am extremely scared to lose someone. I know it happens and it will eventually happen, but I can’t handle it. Just writing about it makes my heart heavy. Last year was the first time I’ve experienced grief. My grandpa on my mom’s side passed away from cancer. It was a long battle and we all knew it was coming but it was all new to me. New to my cousins. New to my family. We lost someone close and there is no amount of preparation for that. Since my grandpa’s passing, I’ve noticed my fear of losing a family member (mom, dad, sister, etc.) has deepened. I try not to think/talk about it because I instantly start to cry.

Closed Confined Places

Ok I wouldn’t consider myself claustrophobic but I could easily freak out if I think about being in tight places for too long. Let’s take an airplane for example. I’m not scared to fly. I’ll get on a plane right now. But if I think about being in the air for so long with no actual fresh air, breathing in people’s farts and morning breath, not being able to walk outside, sitting in one position for so long and standing up to a ceiling that’s not that high freaks me out a bit. Then there’s the part of knowing you’re 10,000ft in the air with nothing but land or ocean below you. Oh my! Sorry if you’re reading this in an airport lol. You’ll be fine and enjoy your trip!

Disease

I’m so scared of falling sick. I’m scared of these super diseases. They’re getting stronger and more powerful. We’re always hearing about some new virus that such and such. I want to talk about STDs though. It’s scary how common STI’s/STD’s are and how many different kinds! Some are curable, thankfully. But there are some that aren’t curable, that’s the scary part. What’s even scarier is that you can be as cautious as possible but there are some STD’s/STI’s that you can catch even if you’re being careful! When I say careful, I mean wearing condoms and checking your partner. Your partner may not even know they have something. That’s why it’s so important to get regularly tested for EVERYTHING anyway. Even then sometimes false negatives occur and people can be a carrier of something without showing signs or symptoms. It’s so scary. Honestly, just thinking about it is the best birth control, sex control, everything control!!

Failure

I’m scared of failure. I’m scared that I may be dreaming too big and I’ll jump and fall flat on my face. How do you know if your dreams are too big? Or unrealistic? Do you find out after you fail? I’m not scared enough to quit though. I refuse to quit. I try to redirect my thinking because your thoughts follow you. I watched this documentary in high school and it changed my life. It’s called The Secret. It’s on Netflix and Amazon. It’s pretty much about the Law of Attraction. What you surround yourself with, the people, your thoughts, will attract the things that happen in your life, the people you meet, and the way you feel. So anytime I start having these doubtful or negative thoughts, I redirect my thinking to something positive. After watching this documentary and seeing how true it is from my own experiences, I always tell people to speak things into existence. It works. It’s the Law of Attraction. You guys should watch it and tell me what you think.

What scares you guys?

Previous: 5 Things That Make Me Happy

~Kelsey Sherri

52WKC: 3 Family

Before I jump into things, I’ve created this naming system for my 52 week challenge posts: 52WKC: week # & topic for that week. I figured, week 1, week 2 etc. would get a little confusing and seeing 52 week challenge would get annoying. So here it is 52WKC: 3 Family.

This week I’m supposed to talk about my family. If you haven’t noticed by now, I’m a pretty family oriented person. I’m all about family and I’ve been blessed to have a family who is all about me. Well you know, not about me only, but they’re always there for me. I have an amazing support system, from my parents and sister to my aunts, uncles, grandparents, and football team amount of cousins. I want to post pictures of us but I better not. Not everyone wants to be on the internet like that. Lol.

My family is huge and we are all so close. Both sides of my family are pretty close to each other. We all look out for each other and take care of each other. We obviously have family issues sometimes, I mean every single long term relationship will have issues, especially if you’re close and care about each other. But aside from that we always bounce back to the close knit family we are.

Last Week: 52WKC: 2 Spouse/ Significant Other

~Kelsey Sherri

52WKC: 2 Spouse/ Significant Other

Before I jump into things, I’ve created this naming system for my 52 week challenge posts: 52WKC: week # & topic for that week. I figured, week 1, week 2 etc. would get a little confusing and seeing 52 week challenge would get annoying. So here it is 52WKC: 2 Spouse/ Significant Other.

This week for my 52 week challenge, I’m supposed to be talking about a spouse or significant other. Well, I don’t have either at the moment. So what should I talk about? I guess right now my significant other is my work. But I’d rather not talk about being married to my career. I could talk about my exs. Ummm, let’s NOT. Marriage? Marriage.

When I was a kid, I used to dream about falling in love, my wedding, and living happily ever after. Let’s face it, I grew up with disney movies like Cinderella and The Little Mermaid. This fairytale life was embedded in me from childhood. I used to plan out my life: fall in love in my early 20s, get married around 24/25, and start having little babies around 26/27 and be done by 30. Well, I’m 23, single, with no interests. So much for planning. Ah well. I guess I didn’t take into account my own mindset at this age.

Now that I’m 23, I can’t imagine myself being married by next year. There’s so much I want to do still before marriage as a single woman, and later as a couple before we get married. There are stages to these things and I don’t want to rush them. Even if I do meet a guy, I can’t see myself married by next year, and I really can’t see myself having kids in the next 2! Silly me! What kind of plan was I trying to make?

Who knows what’ll happen. Maybe love finds me sooner than I’m anticipating. I mean, I’m still sort of a hopeless romantic. If it happens, it happens. It would be nice to have a significant other to share all these experiences with, but I still have way more living to do as an unwedded woman.

So cupid, as much as I may complain during the holidays and on valentine’s day about not having that special someone yet, I mean give me a break, I was a 90’s kid growing up with nothing but love stories, please save that little arrow for a little while.

Last week: 52 Week Challenge: Week 1

~Kelsey Sherri

52 Week Challenge — Week 1

I came across this 52 week challenge on Life or 30 Something Like it some time in September. So, I decided to wait until the new year to start it. I’ve always wanted to do one of these. I see them on instagram all the time but I always feel like I wouldn’t be able to keep up. I’ve decided to stop making excuses and just go for it. So here it is, week 1 of 52.

screenshot_2015-12-01-21-08-55-1.png

Why am I starting this challenge?

Well I already said I’ve always wanted to do one of these challenges but on a deeper level, I want to do this challenge because it lasts the entire year. I want to push myself to do something on my own without quitting. It’s like exercising for me. I want to do it and I’ll be good on day one. I’ll eat well-balanced and proportioned meals, exercise, stretch and do everything by the books. But then day six rolls around and that pizza, my bed, and tv looks a lot more appealing.

I’m taking on this challenge because it’s once a week. I think that’s manageable. I post at least once a week anyway, sometimes more. This challenge is also a great writing exercise. Anytime you have a topic that you didn’t come up with on your own, you push yourself to dig deeper, especially if it’s a topic you don’t want to talk about or have any interest in. I can already tell there will be some difficult topics that I’ll have to put more effort into. I’m excited about this challenge because it’s something I can work for, another goal, I guess. But why take on another goal when I already have so many for 2016? I say why not?!

So let’s see where this take us. I’ll try to post these on Sundays. I welcome you all to join me on this challenge.

Happy blogging and happy new year!

~Kelsey Sherri

Goodbye 2015!

They say the way you spend your New Year’s day is the way the rest of your year will look like. Well I decided to set aside time today to work on my blog. This year will be about advancing my career. I want to re-launch my brand K. Sherri and begin to really brand myself as a designer. I want to work on all aspects of my career this year, from this blog to my next collection. I guess I better start now. But before I jump into my plans for 2016, I want to go over the highlights of 2015.

The first half of the year is a little blurry to me right now, probably because it was my senior year in college and I was working extremely hard. I didn’t get much sleep those months so that could be why it’s a little hazy. Side note: sorry for the bad photo quality in some of these photos. They were taken on my phone.

April

I cut my hair! For the first time in my life! I didn’t have time to twist it every night because I was working on senior project. SO I went to a salon and chopped it off. Problem solved!

wp-1451699005187.png

May

I participated in a cosplay costume competition and won Best Original Idea for my Red Riding Hood Costume I made for class.

June

I graduated from Cal State LA with a BA in Fashion Design and Textiles. This is one of my proudest moments of achievement this past year. It wasn’t easy getting my degree but I’ve had a tremendous amount of support throughout my entire college career.screenshot_2015-07-24-20-54-13-1.png

July

This was when I began sewing evening dresses for people that were bought and worn on red carpet events in Los Angeles! How exciting!

August

I got to travel to Barbados for the second time in my life! I was 2 the first time I went to Barbados. It was amazing! I wrote a few blog posts about my experiences in August.

September

I got my first job in the industry and first job out of college working as a stylist at Hautelook photo studio in Culver City.

Styling: Me. Photo: Rebecca Pimm

wp-1451680357009.jpeg

October

I was the finale of a fashion show at Cal State Long Beach that promoted eco-friendly ways of producing and manufacturing clothing. That was another proud moment for my brand. Go check out my Fall 2015 line on my website, www.ksherri.com

HG1A4976

November

I had the privilege of having my first pop-up shop at the Barbados Independence dance and award ceremony held in Alhambra, CA. I had scarves and bags that I made and was able to sell that night. I met a lot of people and I’m so thankful for that opportunity!

December

This month was filled with joys of the holidays! I’m sure I’ve forgotten a few things that’s happened this year but I think I got the jist of it.

I’ve accomplished so much this year and grew as a person. It’s been a great year but I’m excited to see what 2016 has in store for me!

~Kelsey Sherri

5 Things That Annoy Me

Five-Things-that-annoy-me-narrow
I’m picking back up my “5 things” blog posts. The last topic I chose was 5 things that annoy me. No intro is needed so let’s dive in.

Unreliable people

 

b3d6c257505347b241a600822881285eI work in an industry where a lot of what I do requires a team. Multiple people are needed to get photo shoots done, fashion shows, etc.. One thing that annoys me is when someone makes a commitment to me and cancels last minute. It’s ridiculous how inconsiderate people can be. This past November, I was supposed to be planning a small fashion show with 3 models, one makeup artist, one hair stylist, and an assistant to help me with my pop up shop. Would you believe that all of them flaked on me within 24 hours of the show. I had to cancel everything and do the pop up shop by myself. I mean it’s not like I needed help with the pop up shop after all since my attention wasn’t needed with the show again. I’ve been flaked on may times, by friends and people I needed to work with, but I’ve never had an entire cast call out last minute.

Traffic

1401832888000-AP-Driving-Changes

I’ve been a commuter since I got my car in September 2012. That’s when I started going to Cal State LA. I drove up the 710 everyday. Now my job is in Culver City. That’s Southern California in case you’re some place outside of this zone. SOmetimes I forget people in other countries are reading my blog! But anyway, I drive about an hour and 15 minutes in the morning to work and an hour and 45 minutes to get back home in the evening. That’s regular traffic. You don’t want to know if an accident is on the freeway. That’s Los Angeles for you! I hate the traffic. I makes me more tired after work than my job does alone. It’s exhausting and there’s no way around it. Trust me. I’ve tried.

Bad Parking

untitled

Along with traffic, I HATE when people park like they own the entire parking lot. We have marked lines for your car to fit into. FOLLOW THEM! I’ve also noticed it’s usually the smallest of cars parking in multiple spots. Just to add to the bad parking thing, I hate when people put their trash cans and recycle bins in parking spots. For people who may not understand my frustration with this, let me explain. I live in a city where parking is gold, especially in the evening/night hours. If you see a parking spot, take it. Don’t go down the block and hope to find a closer one. You won’t. And if you do go down the block, chances are there will be none and you’ll swing around for the one you originally saw, and it won’t be there anymore. So that’s why I get frustrated when I see people’s trash cans taking up the space of the block.

Waking Me Up Before My Alarm

87156198

Just don’t. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT wake me up before my alarm. Actually don’t wake me up at all. UNLESSSSS, the house is on fire, my car is on fire, someone is on fire, or Rihanna wants me to make a gown for her. Those are the ONLY reasons to wake me up. I’m kidding! But seriously, I love sleep, and I already don’t get enough. It automatically makes me grumpy when someone wakes me up and I have time left. The closer you are to my alarm time the grumpier I’ll be. Those last 10 minutes are crucial!

Waiting

g1386726859842414052

I saved this for last, because it’s the one I’m most passionate about. Everyone who knows me knows I hate waiting. If there ever was a time you kept me waiting, you’ve probably heard something from me about it. I absolutely hate waiting on people. It’s not so much an impatient thing. I’m actually a very patient person. It’s kind of a respect thing like flaking on me. Respect my time. If you make a commitment to a time, stick to it. Don’t have me waiting on you for hours especially without hearing from you and especially if you were rushing me.
Wow writing this post actually made me a little mad. I hope you guys aren’t agitated too. 🙂 Share your frustrations with me. What annoys you? Also if you have any suggestions about future topics, I’m always open to them! Thanks for reading! The next “5 things” post will be on December 29th. 5 Things That Makes Me Happy.
~Kelsey Sherri

Previous: 5 Things I Try to do Everyday: Health Edition